Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in nuclearsenal's LiveJournal:

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Monday, June 11th, 2007
12:09 pm	so im back from israel sick ass pics soon (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 17th, 2007
2:18 pm	today I feel like life has far surpassed the effort I'm willing to give to anyone or anything. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 12th, 2007
4:54 pm	its been a while since ive posted, but these lyrics describe how i feel towards a few people i know so well, i might as well have written them I'm so sick of the fights, so sick of your mouth - I know where you live and I see where you sleep. So let's settle this here and now, I'm not wasting away my life because you don't like what I have to say. Sorry I'm not just like you. Who are you again? Remind me, because I don't care. I hope you like this; I really hope you do. I hope you like it as much as getting your face busted in with a hammer. You are done destroying lives. Everyone will suffer. I have given up on you. So who the fuck do you think you are? You will learn to breathe through a straw. So do as the world a favor; pull your bottom lip over your face and swallow. I don't mean any disrespect, but I hope you are buried alive. Your world is about to come crashing down. Everyone will suffer. say im violent or angry, i dont give a fuck anymore. i am. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
12:07 pm	so its been months since i posted on here. this past weekend( mostly friday and yesterday) was amazing. friday was cool. went to barriers and bishop, lots of shit happened that was fun. but yesterday was amazing.its really hard to describe it besides saying it was amazing.easily one of the best days ive had in a long time. basically im realy glad for some friends who ive learned will stick by me an support me no matter what. i owe rachel my life. shes an amazing example of someone who loves me for who i am. and most of the time im an asshole. josh and david are two people who will always have my back and never stop. evan. evan is someone i will always fight with. ill always be pissed off at and who i will piss off. but he is my brother and i love him no matter what happens, no matter what or who gets in the middle. anneliese is someone who always reminds me of my place haha. she never fails to remind me of what a peice of dirt i am. and i couldnt be more grateful. there is a handful of other people who i love but do not have enough time to mention them all.but if you have close friends, you dont need anything else. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 13th, 2006
2:15 pm	long time since ive posted anything on this. mostly because it solves nothing and it a waste of time. i dont know why im posting this. i guess ive been thinking and this is the only thing i can communicate through or to at the moment. i havnt been myself. ive been extremly unhappy with certain things in my life. i rele do wonder if im losing my mind or if im clynically depressed. probably neither but nothing seems to explain why i think the way i do or why i react to things the way i do. ive lost a friendship i cherished more than anything else on this fucking earth and im losing 2 more. i think this is whats unsettling me. i lost the first seemingly right out from under my nose in a split second. but apparently its been gone for a while now. we used to be able to talk about anything. you where the easiest person for me to talk to and maybe sometimes i took that for granted. i feel replaced. i feel like a part of me is missing. not in some stupid emotional way, but in how i trusted in something i was told would never change, was gone. and is gone. i dont understand. i wish someone could explain to me. i know most would say this is part of life. they would say that trusting in people and having them let you down is part of life. but i dont agree. if someone kept stabbing you with a knife, you wouldnt say "oh its ok. its a part of life. ill get used to it" this is why i do not trust people. i will never get used to it. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 6th, 2006
12:31 am	i think the word "blah" perfectly describes me at the moment (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 10th, 2006
8:55 pm	im in love with the new acacia strain (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 7th, 2006
10:24 pm	i never thought it could happen Love Love Love (Love Love) Have I ever told you before I think you're beautiful when you're sleeping? I have faith you watch me in my slumber, too. If I'm all that you're looking for, tell me, why is there a river streaming down your face? Sometimes makes me wonder all about your love. After some time it's something i find true. Love's not a grave, it won't decay on you. Too many days I was afraid of love. What if nothing is just that and suffering's the only thing we're good at? Dreaming, picture that a whole world in a slumber. But don't get too attatched to the living, even every single memory's fleeting. That's a fact, being torn asunder. But to my suprise, no reason why, one day i woke up and realized. Give it to me, love. I'll keep you in my focus with love and affection. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006
4:29 pm	i wanna shoot myself just thinking about Depression takes far too much and I'm far too drained to give her what's due.  I live for defeat.  Find myself searching for the worst.  Take me where I need to go.  I'm much too tired to live alone louder and louder I screamed her name but she wouldn't say anything...I reach down and reload my ticket home. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 1st, 2006
2:07 pm	i think as of yesterday, its a proven fact: no good deed goes unpunished. doesnt matter how much you(universal "you") care; you really dont. doesnt matter what you say or do; it never makes a difference. doesnt matter how much u want a person to be happy; they wont be. ive learned alot about some people lately and i dont like what i have learned but im glad i found out. slowly detaching myself from the un-appreciation, the lies, the your wrong and im not attitude, and from all the other bull crap. im done trying, but i refuse to give up. (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 29th, 2006
2:08 pm	maylene tuesday i cant wait (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 24th, 2006
10:44 pm	im home (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
11:19 am	i rele think the more i see, the less i know. tonight at 3:3 0 in the morning i leave for south america for a week. excited? yeah sure why not. but here it is 11:20 and im not packed and ive got a shitload to do still and i didnt get to see half the people i wanted to before i left. i rele wish i had somone rele rele special to say goodbye to. somone id miss more than i would a friend but thats all besides the point and we all know wishing will get us no where. i think live is like Casablance: it just sucks ass period (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 6th, 2006
7:04 pm	"i wish you would go back to how you used to be" wow this got me thinking. ive rele been a horrible friend to alot of people recently and i need to start apologizing for it(not something i do, nor is something im comfortable doing). there are also a few situations where i feel i didnt do anything wrong but i miss friendships that ive had with people and me sitting around waiting for them to apologize is gonna get me no where. ive got alot to get done. and i guess im playing the show tomorrow with Promises to Bury. Im hella nervous being last night was my first practice ever with them. i think it will go good. and i leave for south america in one week for a week and a half when did my life become so insane? (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 5th, 2006
9:04 am	honestly im heartbroken. but at risk of sounding like im complaining, im not gonna go into details. i still hold a very high level of respect for this person but apparently i annoy them(not to hard to believe i guess, i often annoy myself) but the thing is i was always there when they needed me and vice versa. we had great conversations and they were the ONLY person i was rele honestly comfortable talking with. i miss that alot. i think i will just be doing my own thing for a while. i have in the past and i will sit around as long as i have to, if for nothing else but to simple have the opportunity to say how i feel. but for now im inactive. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 29th, 2006
2:04 pm	recap of this week so far just in case any of you were wondering. sunday: saw II with nick o and josh and david. shaved my head into a mohawk of poportions monday: work, fixed the hair, and slept tuesday: work went to meet stephanie and rah and anneliese and the mall to see steph before she left that kinda flopped and we ended up chilling with max ashley and ant. went to exodus, jammed with max on some grooves(inlcuding some mfv remixes) and felt overall extremely dissapointed with someone in particular wednesday: superman returns(dont see it its retarted) today i leave for st augustine and im not back till the 4th. i rele wish somethings would go back to how they were. theres nothing on earth you can completly rely on; not even your closest friends. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 28th, 2006
1:45 pm	im going to st augustine tomorrow till the fourth who wants to chill when i get back? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 26th, 2006
1:52 pm	let me clarify in advace: this isnt a post about how bad my life is. im not complaining about anything or anyone. i like how my life is going right now. something could be better but as they say, life is a work in progress. ok now that thats out of the way. i think i trust in too many people, and often get let down(cause thats what people do and done to them) and then i get upset. i also think ive been holding too many in high-regards. in case thats confusing, let me explain: i have lots of friends. im not bragging. i just know lots of people. some i know way better than other; and more i dont know that well at all. but i think some people who i hardly know, i think very highly of. so when something happens or we fight or something goes wrong, it upsets me. i need to learn to base how much i care for a person by how good of friends we are. look at how they treat me and vice versa. at the moment, there are 4 people i trust with my life, and a few others i consider family. thats i need. im way to reliant on other people and its not fair to them. the object of this, and every bulletin i post is supposed to help u understand me better. im not hear to complain, or whine, or say how bad my life sucks, or get sympothy from anyone. i dont need sympothy. i think livelournal is amazing. it helps me process my thoughts so well with so little effort. 99% of the time while i write things, i realize things that i wouldnt have realized if i had just sat down and tried to sort though my thoughts. i really dont know what the purpose of writing this was. then again, i know exactly why (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 25th, 2006
2:00 pm	i probably wont be using livejorunal anymore. i go complain about my life somewere else. (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 22nd, 2006
4:50 pm	hmmm.... back to square one. whats the point of trying to aquire things, money, friends, someone you care about, somone that cares about you when none of it last. oh well im not gonna stress it this time. this whole "outgoing" thing isnt working im just gonna be an asshole to everyone for the rest of my life i guess. (4 Comments |Comment on this)